I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
