She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
