I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
