I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
