3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
