Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
