Please, let me fuck your mom
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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