Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
too bad you live with your parents still
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
