It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
NoShamevember. You game?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
