I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Randomize
