I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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