What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
