my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
