i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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