It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
