My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
