We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
