Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
