you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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