Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
