You're so nebulous sometimes
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
