The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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