New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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