marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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