shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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