I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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