i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
