he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
