We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
