my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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