My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
