I think I am morally bankrupt
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
