i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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