feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
