that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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