I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
