"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
you made out with another girl for some wings
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
