on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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