we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
