there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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