he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
