is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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