i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
