i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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