there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
