Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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