You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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