If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It's no shave November. This is our time.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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