I'm so fucking centered right now
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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