bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Randomize
